My Erica turns 1

Many faces or Erica...

Today our Erica turns 1. How time flies so fast. Erica had completed us as a family. Now we have a pair and Ehsan has a friend to play with and bully!

There are lots of memories that I wish to forget during my pregnancy. The memories that should be replace with something more cheerful and meaningful. The memories that I dare not share and remember anymore. But those memories also made me a better mother, wife, child and human being. That memories also that taught me of being grateful for what had been written by Allah. Alhamdulillah I have families and a husband that are so understanding, supporting and caring during that period.

I first got to know about my pregnancy in mid August 2006 which is a month after we came back from Malaysia for summer holiday. It was an unexpected news for us as I never had any plan to conceive in Sudan. It wasn't that I didn't want another child, but Sudan is not the right place for us to have a baby, and with my health condition that need to be monitored. I used to have hyperthyroidism when I was 18 but when I was pregnant to Ehsan I had develop hypothyroidism which required me have long-life treatment. Due to that I had a very tough time during my pregnancy with Erica. I didn't have regular check up as I usually did when I was with Ehsan. I had no one to help me around plus I was busy in my 4th semester of MBA and still needed to do the house chores as usual. It was also worrying me as I just had Ehsan through cesarean procedure a year before. It really makes the pregnancy process tough and difficult for me in Sudan.

Later in January 2007, during the 7th month of pregnancy hubby sent me & Ehsan back to Malaysia, where we stayed for 7 months. It was really sad having to go for check up without a husband around. But luckily I had a family that was so caring and took care of us while hubby were not around. I had to defer my 5th semester as I didn't feel like I can cope with the situation alone.

Despite the illness and being alone I also were quite worried with the delivery process. Every time when I went for a check up, I will always ask the same question (I got the same answer from 3 different doctors). Do I have the chance to deliver my baby normally? And the answer was NO. With my history with Ehsan when I didn't dilate enough, the doctor said I wouldn't be able to deliver normally. And so I had to choose the date for Erica's delivery, and we decided on 24th March 2007.

At 6.30am, on the morning of 24th March 2007, the whole family got ready to send me off to Apollo Medical Center in TTDI. We arrived at 7.00 a.m and immediately the nurse asked me to change into a hospital gown. I was first asked to take the 'atomic enema' but since I had done my 'business' earlier, I declined it nicely. Nasib la nurse baik-baik....

Later I was brought to the operation theater and was prepared for the spinal block. It was really painful as I can feel the needle being inserted. I squeezed the doctor's hand hard as the pain was so unbearable. 15 minutes later, the scrubs were busy inserting the urine tube into my bladder and I started to feel uncomfortable, and asked one of the nurses to massage my back. It was quite a long procedure I felt, as compared to Ehsan as I was awake and knew what to expect this time; Ehsan was an emergency case, and that felt like it took a short while only.

Alhamdulillah, Erica was safely out of my tummy at 8.38 a.m with no complication. Her weight was just 2.7 kg, 300 grams less than Ehsan. But the most memorable thing was when a practical student, who was observing the procedure, fainted the moment the doctor delivered Erica from my tummy! I guess the blood made him dizzy! Hmmm apa jadi dengan budak tu sekarang???

I was put on morphine after the operation as a pain killer and I didn't take any food for 2 days due to that. I was only been given Milo to give me strength. After 3 days in the hospital I was allowed to go back. Alhamdulillah, Erica was fine and had no jaundice.

A year has passed, and I could see the differences between Ehsan and Erica. Erica is more independent compared to Ehsan. She can play by herself, but the moment she wants milk or is sleepy she would become so cranky. She is so hard to be put to bed, and would crawl all over the bed until she found her best position to sleep in. She eats more, but sleeps less compared to Ehsan. She had her 1st tooth when she was 10 months old and started walking when she turned 1. In contrast, Ehsan got his 1st tooth when he was 1 year old and started walking when he was 10 months old.

Nothing makes me happier than to celebrate my children's differences. I hope that Erica will become anak yang solehah when she grows up. My only wish for her on her 1st anniversary is just...

"...to be my cute and lovely daughter forever for the rest of my life...Mama loves u so much darling....."